One day. Two different clients. Same conversation...Limiting Beliefs.
One of my favourite sayings: “It’s not a gas pedal problem. It’s the brakes.” It is another reminder this week that it’s not working harder that moves most people forward much faster…it’s removing the limitations! Taking the brakes off. Getting out of your own way. Controlling the voice in your head that knocks you out of the race.
What gets in the way? What kills the dream? What knocks you off your game? What makes you weak?
The Adversary
My favorite podcaster and coach – Ed Mylett - has a strong and simple classification for the way our mind gets in our own way. He uses the term, ‘The Adversary’, to describe that voice in our mind that sounds just like our own internal voice…but it’s goal is to knock us off track. Knock us down. Make us play small. Be afraid. Be overwhelmed. Feel like an Imposter.
The Adversary lies to us. Limits us. Kills our goals. Blocks our potential. Ruins our relationships. Finds ways to get us unfocused, distracted, and ineffective. Gets in the way of our ‘best self’.
The Messages of The Adversary
According to Mylett, the 4 weapons The Adversary uses – aka the 4 D's of The Adversary - are: Discouragement; Doubt; Delusion; Delay.
The voice of Discouragement says: You’re a failure. This isn’t going to work out for you. It’s the wrong time for you for this goal. You’re the wrong person for this. You should quit. You need more confidence first. You’re unworthy. Your previous wins were a fluke.
The voice of Doubt says: You’re not good enough. You’re not smart / confident / expert / courageous / etc. enough. This isn’t possible for you. This isn’t worth it. You’re an Imposter. Is this really a good idea? You don’t have faith you can get it done.
The voice of Delusion says: this problem is even worse; you believe things that aren’t true; your ego takes over (all about ‘me’; “what about me?”); this proves you are an imposter; this proves you are not good enough; your dreams and your success are much further away than you thought; you should go back to playing smaller
The voice of Delay (& Distraction) says: Wait! Don’t do it yet; check the phone; this needs to be perfect before you send it out; what's that - oh I should do that!; oh what's this - I meant to do this yesterday and I’ll just quickly squeeze it in; check emails again - it could be something important!; fold the laundry instead of posting about my ideal client; I need to pee right now!; let me get a drink of water and THEN I'll get back to work; I need some fresh air; I'm gonna scroll a few reels for a break…45 minutes later…
Timing matters. Delay & Delusion is the most insidious tool of The Adversary. The Adversary is a bastard.
These voices are LIES!
The Adversary wants us playing small - that's The Adversary's job. Our brain gets programmed to have negativity bias. And we are screwed! Limitations.
The very fact that The Adversary is speaking up and shooting you down is an indicator that you ARE PROGRESSING! Purposeful growth brings The Adversary to life.
The Adversary works harder to stop you when you are planning to move more strongly in the direction of your best self & purpose.
Overcome the Adversary and Move with Purposeful Direction!
Your job is to recognize it more effectively and more quickly, over time.
You can do this by following these simple steps:
1. Reflecting on which of the 4 D's messages above trip you up most often.
2. Write down the most common message playing in your mind as your 'top D' is trying to take over.
3. Teach yourself to listen closely for that statement in your mind (i.e.. start by setting a reminder a few times throughout the day to be mindful of it).
4. When catching the Adversary's voice, interrupt it, and choose your best next action. PURPOSE-DIRECTED ACTION. Just take the first step forward…and keep going.
Rinse, and repeat.
Live in Clarity. Confidence. Courage.
Listen for your truth. And follow that.
Live your best, purpose-driven life.
“Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional.” – Roger Crawford
Reach out if support would be helpful
If the resistance still feels too strong, reach out to me and let’s have a confidential conversation to move you forward. You may get everything you need from a single conversation.
Email me, or book your complimentary call directly @ https://calendly.com/coachchrisw
Great read!